I know this post may come across to some as being offensive. It’s not that I think every teen/young parent is a stupid moron, I understand that some people may become pregnant accidentally, and for moral or religious reasons may consider abortion to be wrong, and that some have a family who is willing to help them care for their child. And they’re admirable for trying. But please, don’t actually JUDGE those who have not made the same choice as you!
So anyway, at my job there are a lot of people who for whatever reason became/have become parents while very young and not having financial stability. And that is their life choice. I don’t feel in any way superior to them nor do I think they are terrible people. I really don’t give a shit to be honest.
So why then would they act like I’m some crazy lady for stating that I would prefer to put off having children until after I graduate and get a job? There is one individual who has repeatedly brought this up with me. The first time he insisted to me that children are something that, “just happen.” I told him that I choose to be on birth control, so that the odds of it happening to me are extremely low. He kept insisting that “it could happen to me,” and I explained that as I am still a student, I will do everything possible to keep “it from happening.” He said, “Why does being a student matter?” I’m glad it doesn’t matter to him, but I don’t understand why I need to explain in detail keeping up my grades, having freedom, having the time to work, and so forth. It gets worse. He told me to give this hypothetical child to my mother to raise. I’m happy for him that he has a supportive family (I should add that he’s my age and has a daughter, just so this conversation makes a little more sense), unfortunately for my mom it would be a financial burden. AND I DON’T WANT KIDS RIGHT NOW, GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!!!!
Apparently it didn’t get through his head, because today while making small talk, I asked him about his daughter and mentioned that I’m watching a friend’s baby on Thursday. He responded, “So, you decided not to have children of your own?” I said, “I’m twenty, I haven’t reached that decision yet.” He just raised his eyebrows.
What the hell does that mean? Is twenty too old to have a baby in this guy’s world? I don’t even know what to think, except that it’s sad when children have children.