I think my worst fear is not being able to find a job. I do already have a job that pays the bills, but I really don’t know if I could make ends meet when I have the added burden of paying off my student loans, etc. What I need is a full time, preferably salaried position. Thankfully my school makes us do an internship before we graduate, and I’m really hoping that could lead to a job. There are also companies with excellent training programs, such as Macy’s. I’m thinking positively, thinking that yes I can get these jobs, I just have that nagging feeling in the back of my mind…like, what if the economy is still terrible and I’m up against 500 applicants that are just as qualified or more qualified than I am?
I have so many examples of people that I don’t want to turn out like, and it scares me. I know that’s mean to look at someone, and think “There’s an example of something I don’t want to be,” but it’s completely true. All I can think of is, if it happened to them, it could happen to me.
I just hope that maybe I have some drive to succeed that they’re lacking, or I did better in school, or even have better interpersonal skills. Me getting my Banana job that I declined at least gave me more confidence in my interviewing skills. Before that three jobs had just not called me back, and it left me wondering what I had been doing wrong.
But yeah…the future scares me, and I’m happy that I’m facing this a year early, I essentially have an extra year of my life…I’m just worried about being prepared, and money mostly.