After this, I’m done being emo.

I’ve been feeling really down lately, and I think it’s because way back when (Ok, actually not that long ago) when I was in high school I was ALWAYS with my friends, always talking to people, the kids I worked with were kids from school…that sort of thing. Same for when I was living in the dorms my freshman year, Olive was right down the hall and there were always people to see/chat with, that sort of thing. I know I probably sound like a complete bimbo for being so dependent on other people, I promise, I do have outside interests! I’m just social as well.

So my point is, I just feel isolated living in Brooklyn, my friends have transferred to other schools, I’m cordial** with the people I work with but not really friends with any, and the ones I have hit it off with are leaving. I mean there’s nothing wrong with having long distance friendships, I know that’s part of being an adult, people move away, get on with their lives, but it’s still nice to actually SEE someone once in a while.

Now I’m sounding like a complete hermit. I swear, I do have human contact, not a cat lady!

Anyway, while it is depressing, I titled my post this because I need to get over it and myself. I’ve known people who just wallow in the depression, think, “Oh poor me, everyone left me, blah blah blah,” but it’s like, get out and fucking do something! Join a freaking club or take a class. That’s what I’m planning on doing once I start school again…meet new students…and hopefully when I start my career I’ll find some people I have something in common with, or at least have more time to do something in the community or whatever.

So yeah, I feel better writing this, and I guess if I think about it in terms of having more time to pursue my own interests, that makes it a bit better. And if people are far away, that’s what phones/the internet are for.


Addendum: I do have friends that have stayed at FIT, just everyone’s a way for the summer, so I feel isolated in that respect too, and this situation will resolve itself once school starts back up.

**Cordial’s such an icy sounding word, I meant that I’m on good terms with them at least.

I don’t want to insult anyone with post, of course there are people who I’ve had a good time with, both at school and at work but what I’m saying is I feel lonely in the sense that I feel like in general I don’t fit in and it’s not like I’m being mean to people or people are being mean to me, it’s just hard to find people who even have room for a new friend in their lives, if that makes sense, and the fact that I’m under 21 and can’t drink also complicates things, although I do think that a real friend should find ways to be accommodating regarding that.

One thought on “After this, I’m done being emo.

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